SATIRE NEWS: Joe Flacco’s Wife Dresses As Giant Football To Spice Things Up In Bedroom

CINCINNATI—Saying she thought it might be fun if they tried something a little different, Dana Grady, wife of Bengals quarterback Joe Flacco, reportedly dressed in a giant football costume Tuesday night in an effort to spice things up in the bedroom. “I need a big, strong quarterback to come score a touchdown,” Grady said to her husband, who gulped and slowly nodded before approaching the sultry pigskin and running his fingers desirously along the laces, muttering, “It’s not regulation…but I’m still turned on.” “This is what you wanted, right? I’ve seen your internet history. I heard you accidentally call me ‘football’ in bed last week. It’s kinky—and I like it. Now, get over here and show me what you can do in the pocket. Don’t be shy. You can throw me, if you want.” At press time, sources confirmed that Flacco had donned his helmet, gotten into formation, and started barking his cadence while Grady lay motionless in bed.