SATIRE NEWS: JD Vance’s French Horn Solo Booed At Kennedy Center

WASHINGTON—Failing to receive the reaction he anticipated from audience members, JD Vance was booed at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts while playing a French horn solo, sources confirmed Friday. The stage curtains reportedly rose to reveal the vice president, an amateur horn player, standing by himself behind a music stand, a sight that elicited gasps and murmurs from those in attendance. According to sources, the crowd began booing and jeering Vance within the first 15 seconds of his performance of Franz Strauss’s Horn Concerto, Op. 8, causing the vice president to quickly lose his confidence and begin playing cracked and flat notes. Several reports indicated that the vice president attempted to make eye contact with his wife, second lady Usha Vance, who sat in the box tier, but she only looked away and stared down at her hands. At press time, Vance was said to have dropped his French horn to the floor and run off the stage in tears, knocking over the music stand in the process.