SATIRE NEWS: Japan Deploys Troops To Combat Deadly Bear Attacks

Satire news: report: half of all uncontacted people could be

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Japan deployed troops into its northern rural regions to combat a surge in bear attacks that has already killed a record 12 people since April, as experts link the crisis to climate change and rural depopulation. What do you think?

“Be careful. Once they get a taste for combat, troops will keep coming back for more.”

Collin Gurworth, Protein Advocate


“Hopefully this show of strength will convince the bears to come to the negotiating table.”

Athena Kalogeras, Clarinet Repairman


“Hopefully humans and bears can set aside their differences and find a common enemy in squids.”

Jon Fosmark, Bell Ringer



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