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Satire news: ice releases gavin newsom beheading video

SATIRE NEWS: ICE Releases Gavin Newsom Beheading Video

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WASHINGTON—Disseminating grainy footage of the California Democrat meeting his disturbing and bloody end, Immigration and Customs Enforcement released a video Tuesday in which Gov. Gavin Newsom is seen being beheaded. “This is a message to the enemies of immigration enforcement: Gov. Newsom’s fate will be yours should you stand in the way of national purity,” an anonymous plainclothes ICE agent wearing a balaclava says as he holds a bound Newsom by his slicked-back hair and prompts him to recite a coerced statement about “paying for the sins of the American left and its insistence on universal human dignity.” “We call on the lieutenant governor and the Los Angeles mayor to cease their opposition immediately. We will continue to behead any Democratic presidential hopeful who stands in our movement’s way. Death to America!” The ICE agent later appears to grow frustrated when several swings of the machete are required to remove Newsom’s head, the result of excess hair gel dripping down the governor’s neck.





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