SATIRE NEWS: Hospital Sends Man Home With Loaner Dad While His Worked On

SEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview Medical Center officials explained Thursday that they were sending area man Alex Leahy home with a loaner dad while his biological father was being worked on. “This one’s seen better days, but he’s super dependable and should give you all the love and support you need until your regular dad is all fixed up and back to normal,” said Harborview representative Grace Carter, guiding Leahy through the various features of the loaner father chosen from a fleet of temporary parents kept on-hand at the hospital for patients eligible to take advantage of the perk. “We do have some newer models and some that are more sporty, but this dad right here will give you the most bang for your buck. With this model, you get a decent amount of conversation and support—no hugs, but that’s mostly the case with the flashier new models anyway. For what it’s worth, this one has a great stereo. I know he’s a little dinged up, but at least there’s no smoke pouring out.” Reached for comment, Leahy confided to reporters that the hospital’s loaner dad was actually nicer than the one he normally used.