SATIRE NEWS: Harry Styles Breaks Down His New Album Track By Track

SATIRE NEWS: Harry Styles Breaks Down His New Album Track

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Harry Styles has released Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally, his fourth studio album. The pop star sat down with The Onion to explain the meaning behind each track.

“Aperture”: “I typed ‘hole’ into powerthesaurus.com.”

“American Girls”: “My favorite is Samantha, but Kit is a very close second.”

“What Makes You Beautiful”: “I hope Kobalt Music doesn’t sue me for throwing this classic onto the album.”

“Are You Listening Yet?”: “The first three songs kind of suck, so I wanted to call people back in with this one.”

“Taste Back”: “I’ve always wondered what it would be like if broccoli came alive and hunted me, and this is my exploration of that.”

“The Waiting Game”: “If you take more than an hour to deliver my fucking pizza, you know I’m gonna drag you in a song.”

“Season 2 Weight Loss:” “This is about Meerkat Manor.

“Coming Up Roses”: “I figured roses would look good on merch, and I worked backwards from there.”

“Pop”: “The record labels won the fight over this one, but I still think ‘Plop’ sounds better.”

“Dance No More”: “Dancing is over—it’s the pogo stick’s time to shine!”

“Paint By Numbers”: “This is about my old personal chef. She made the best homemade salad dressing. Was kinda handsy, though.”

“Carla’s Song”: “This is a typo. It’s meant to be ‘Harry’s Song,’ because I wrote it.”

“Oak”: “Taylor Swift doesn’t have a monopoly on songs about Travis Kelce’s penis.”



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