SATIRE NEWS: Faded Outline Of Ex-Girlfriend’s Name Still Visible On Stocking

MILWAUKEE—Noticing the discolored places where different letters had once adorned the decoration, area woman Paula Jackson observed Friday that the faded outline of an ex-girlfriend’s name was still visible on the Christmas stocking given to her by her boyfriend’s mom. “At first I thought maybe ‘Jessica’ was just the brand name of the stocking, but after I saw how quickly Mark tried to distract me when I gave it a closer look, I put it together that this lady must have been his girlfriend at some previous Christmas,” said Jackson, noting the meticulous effort that seemed to have gone into obscuring the original name on the Christmas stocking. “We never really talk about our exes, but this is an interesting piece of the puzzle. They must have been pretty serious if she got invited to family Christmas. Huh, I wonder why they broke up? Maybe I’ll ask Mark about her later.” At press time, Jackson reportedly gushed in gratitude while unwrapping a Chico’s scarf that she suspected was a re-gifted present from Jessica to Mark’s mother.