SATIRE NEWS: Entitled Child Expects To Eat Lunch Every Day

ALTOONA, PA—Saying the pampered 6-year-old seemed to think someone should provide her with a midday meal on a regular basis, sources told reporters Thursday that local entitled child Harper Wiley expected to eat lunch each day of her young life. “Can you imagine? Not just on the odd occasion, but every single day!” said a source with knowledge of the situation, contending that if Wiley was given a lunch that consisted of the bare minimum nutrition necessary to sustain herself, the next thing she would be asking for was clean, lead-free drinking water to wash it down with. “Apparently, if this brat doesn’t get her lunch, she complains that she’s hungry and that she has trouble paying attention in school. Who does she think she is—some VIP who gets to go through childhood without having her growth stunted from lack of nourishment? It’s complete lunacy.” Sources went on to state that if the entitled child was spoiled with daily lunch in her youth, she would grow up ill-prepared for life in a country where nearly 50 million people go hungry each year.