SATIRE NEWS: Democrats Condemn ICE For Murdering Without Proper Warrants

WASHINGTON—In a statement calling for more guardrails around ongoing immigration operations, Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives publicly condemned Immigration and Customs Enforcement Thursday for routinely employing fatal use of force without obtaining the proper warrants. “For weeks, Democrats have pushed to require ICE agents to obtain the necessary judicial warrants ahead of any murders they plan to commit,” House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) said in a joint statement on the current Homeland Security funding bill, which would allocate $500 million to developing “common sense” accountability measures for any extrajudicial killings carried out at the behest of the federal government. “It is vital that the Department of Homeland Security uphold the rule of law when indiscriminately gunning down innocent civilians in the street; otherwise, the whole system could fall apart. Rather than doing things by the book, these officers are out there slaughtering everyday Americans without first filing the proper paperwork with the appropriate agencies. Our framework is designed to ensure that ICE conducts itself like every other law enforcement agency in the nation, enacting violence upon our populace with impunity and without consequence.” Jeffries added that he empathized with immigrant communities who live in fear knowing that at any moment they could be killed without administrative due diligence.