SATIRE NEWS: Dead-Eyed Travis Kelce Nods At Bow Tie Options For Cat Ring Bearers

LEAWOOD, KS—Periodically grunting and nodding his head, a dead-eyed Travis Kelce was reportedly viewing an array of bow tie options for cat ring bearers Thursday. “Looks great,” said the 35-year-old Kansas City Chiefs tight end, whose mouth was slightly agape as fiancée Taylor Swift scrolled through page after page of sequined collars and tulle bandana designs the pop star’s three feline companions could walk down the aisle in. “Love it. Love it. Sure. Yes. Love it.  It’s going to look great on you. I mean them. Good. Good. Cat. Yes.” At press time, sources confirmed Swift was accusing Kelce of not paying attention after he answered “Travis hungry” to her question about which cat should serve as flower girl.