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Satire news: christian faith an important part of who senator

SATIRE NEWS: Christian Faith An Important Part Of Who Senator Pretends To Be

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WASHINGTON—Stressing that the facade informs nearly every aspect of his daily life, Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) told reporters Thursday that his Christian faith is an important part of who he pretends to be. “Whether I’m delivering a speech calling for theocracy in front of dozens of cameras or talking to my children at the kitchen table about God’s separate roles for men and women, I mean it when I say the mask I wear in public is the same one I wear at home,” said the 45-year-old lawmaker, who confirmed that Christianity has been the foundation of his public-facing identity ever since he was a shameless young prep school student with his sights set on Yale Law School. “The power of telling people you pray is incredible. My Christian faith is a pretense that’s only grown stronger as I’ve aged. It’s so strong that, sometimes, I almost forget it’s all an act.” At press time, Hawley added that he is grateful to represent all of his Christian constituents through the faith he uses as a guise to seek power. 





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