SATIRE NEWS: Cannes Bans Nudity On Red Carpet

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Cannes Film Festival issued an updated red carpet dress code that effectively bans full nudity and “voluminous” ensembles, citing “decency reasons.” What do you think?

“Look, they never said where my black tie was supposed to go.”

William Alidor, Cone Placer


“Good. Cannes is about late-career vanity projects, not smut.”

Isaiah Suarez, Cactus Pruner


“Surely this rule has a Stanley Tucci exemption clause.”

Kathy Blomster, Library Sanitizer



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