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Satire News: Unitedhealthcare Ceo Killed

SATIRE NEWS: Biden Commutes 1,500 Prison Sentences

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President Joe Biden commuted the sentences of roughly 1,500 people who were released from prison and placed on home confinement during the coronavirus pandemic, while also pardoning 39 Americans convicted of nonviolent crimes in the largest single-day act of clemency in modern history. What do you think?

“The handshaking ceremony is going to take forever.”

Helen Webb, Broom Historian


“That’s gotta be all of them, right?”

Jay Fletcher, Charity Auditor


“I bet Hunter doesn’t feel so special now, huh?”

Eli Golestani, Hatchery Supervisor



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