SATIRE NEWS: Befuddled Magnus Carlsen Bested By Dreaded Checkmate Gambit

STAVANGER, NORWAY—Moments after a stunning defeat by 19-year-old Indian prodigy Gukesh Dommaraju, befuddled chess grandmaster Magnus Carlsen exclaimed Monday that he had been bested by the dreaded checkmate gambit. “My God, you’ve played the fearful Checkmate Gambit, haven’t you? An astonishing piece of strategy,” said the visibly flustered Carlsen, his eyes scanning the board to determine that it had been arranged precisely in the manner of the much studied, but rarely attempted maneuver in which one wins the game by preventing another player’s king from moving. “In truth, I thought the Checkmate Gambit was merely the stuff of theory and legend, but you’ve actually pulled it off! And you evolved it from—what was the move before? The Check Ploy, was it not? Tell me—who did you learn it from? Lasker? Botvinnik? You must teach me.” At press time, Carlsen was consulting with an official on classical chess rules to determine if the Checkmate Gambit was even technically legal.