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SATIRE NEWS: Artist Profile: Jelly Roll The Onion

SATIRE NEWS: Artist Profile: Jelly Roll – The Onion

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Jelly Roll, the artist behind songs “Son Of A Sinner” and “Save Me,” has announced a 2026 tour. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the singer.

Birthplace: Walmart bathroom

Legal Name: Davidson County Inmate No. 248323

Genre: Country for people who don’t like music

Easily Identifiable By: Tattoo-shaped birthmarks on face



Common Lyrical Themes: Faith, Ozempic side effects

Vocal Style: Energy drink burp

Often Confused With: Michael Bublé

Pardoned By Tennessee Governor For: Cheating on wife

Grammy Wins: Somehow

Current Project: Writing next James Bond theme



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