SATIRE NEWS: America Celebrates Thanksgiving – The Onion

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Across the nation, Americans are gathering with loved ones to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for?

“No one knows it was me yet.”

Finn Hanson, Cheese Colorist


“I’m grateful that my family has each other, so I can mostly check out.”

Sam Chen, Corkscrew Supplier


“The wheel’s an underrated classic. I use wheels all the time.”

Margot Lewin, Asbestos Expert



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