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As long as I’ve lived life, I’ve been messy. I say this with neutrality. After years of therapy and self-reflection, I know that being messy is not a character flaw or a moral failing. And frankly, it’s not even something I particularly wish to change about myself. I don’t have the desire to transform into a “clean person.” Yet, I do desire to live in a safe, functional and welcoming home. So, I am continually figuring out ways to adapt to my sheer inability to put things back where they belong after I’ve used them.
There are lots of reasons that cleaning can be hard, whether your limitations are physical, mental or emotional — or you just fucking hate it. And while you can, Sisyphus-style, try to force yourself to clean in the way your mother taught you, in the way you see on TikTok, or however you think you’re “supposed to,” I wager that you’ll get a lot further by finding creative hacks that work for you.
If you already struggle with cleaning, feeling more shame is probably not going to get the clothes off the floor, the dishes out of the sink or the papers off the table. Yet simple accommodations — like adding more hampers, swapping to a heavy-duty soap or making a system for incoming mail — can start you off on the right foot.
You don’t need to magically learn to “clean as you go,” nor do you need to develop an affinity for folding things or vacuuming. You just need to know yourself and create systems that work for you. Here are some of my favorite tips that I hope resonate with you.