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SATIRE NEWS: Woman Runs Husband Through List Of Ideas Of Things He Could Have For Snack

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CHICAGO—Utilizing her extensive knowledge of the contents of both the refrigerator and pantry, local woman Victoria Savini was running her husband Christopher Savini through a list of ideas of things he could have for a snack, sources confirmed Friday. “Crackers? An apple? Toast? Do you want toast?” said Savini who, upon noticing her husband was hovering silently in front of the open refrigerator, immediately put down her novel and began helpfully calling out suggestions from across the room. “It’s easy to make toast. You could put butter on it. Do you want a cheese stick? We have cheese sticks. Enchiladas? They’re in the back of the fridge. You don’t have to have a whole one, you could just cut one in half. Lunch meat? Do you want some loose ham?” At press time, the woman had poured some Goldfish crackers into a bowl for her husband and ushered him back to his office.



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