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SATIRE NEWS: Tom Brady’s Announcing Deal Includes Incentives For Number

SATIRE NEWS: Tom Brady’s Announcing Deal Includes Incentives For Number Of Verbs Used

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LOS ANGELES—Additional details released Thursday regarding Tom Brady’s 10-year, $375 million announcing deal with Fox Sports revealed the seven-time Super Bowl champion’s contract includes incentives based on the number of verbs he uses. “Performance bonuses are necessary to land an announcer of Tom’s caliber, which is why he’ll receive an extra $750,000 every time he tops 20,000 action verbs in a season,” said Eric Shanks, CEO of Fox Sports Media Group, who also confirmed initial rumors that the NFL legend and future color commentator would receive $10,000 every time he used more than two verbs in a sentence. “We’re really excited to welcome Tom Brady into the Fox Sports family, and we can’t wait to see what nouns, verbs, and adjectives he brings to the table. He’ll be a strong source of participles and gerunds in the broadcast booth, and if he can manage to string his clauses together without relying too much on the passive voice, we’re confident he’ll be the best broadcaster in the game.” Brady’s contract, the most lucrative ever given to an announcer, also reportedly dwarfs the bonuses CBS announcer Tony Romo receives every time he uses the future tense.



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