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SATIRE NEWS: Things People Hate The Most About Nepotism Babies

SATIRE NEWS: Things People Hate The Most About Nepotism Babies

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We all know celebrities are privileged, but that privilege grows exponentially when it’s passed on to their spawn. Here are the things people hate the most about nepo babies.

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They Grow Up To Be Nepotism Adults

They Grow Up To Be Nepotism Adults

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Gross.

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Only Thing Stopping America From Being Pure Meritocracy

Only Thing Stopping America From Being Pure Meritocracy

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Why can’t the entertainment industry hire based on merit alone like they do in business, higher education, law, and every other field?

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Every Fight With Their Parents Is A Celebrity Encounter

Every Fight With Their Parents Is A Celebrity Encounter

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The average American doesn’t get to argue with someone famous even once in their lives, let alone on a routine basis.

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Their Chances Of Walking In On Denzel Washington Taking A Dump Are Much Higher Than Yours

Their Chances Of Walking In On Denzel Washington Taking A Dump Are Much Higher Than Yours

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Lucky!

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Make Us Waste Several Hours On Wikipedia Researching Famous Parents

Make Us Waste Several Hours On Wikipedia Researching Famous Parents

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Great, now these babies are forcing us to learn about all the Days Of Our Lives episodes their parents starred in too.

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How They’ll Never Learn The Value Of Hard Work

How They’ll Never Learn The Value Of Hard Work

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Poverty isn’t just a crushing force that destroys your physical and mental health; it also teaches you lessons or something.

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Benefiting From Generational Privilege Is Kind Of Tacky

Benefiting From Generational Privilege Is Kind Of Tacky

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There are certain things only Liza Minnelli can pull off.

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They Are A Grotesque, Fleshy Amalgamation Of Their Parents

They Are A Grotesque, Fleshy Amalgamation Of Their Parents

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The macabre appearance of two celebrities fused together can be hard to get past.

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They Don’t Realize There Are Other People With Rich Parents Who Aren’t Famous

They Don’t Realize There Are Other People With Rich Parents Who Aren’t Famous

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Sometimes you’re just born into a family where both your parents are lawyers.

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They Disregard The People Who Get Jobs Solely Because They’re Hot

They Disregard The People Who Get Jobs Solely Because They’re Hot

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It seems that nepotism babies forget that you can also get a job just by being extremely attractive.

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Only Reason For Not Being Cast As Will Smith’s Son In ‘The Pursuit Of Happyness’

Only Reason For Not Being Cast As Will Smith’s Son In ‘The Pursuit Of Happyness’

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Sure, you’re 36 and a white woman, but you know why you really had no shot over Jaden Smith.

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Created An Intricate Set Of Mutual Defense Pacts That Made A World War Inevitable

Created An Intricate Set Of Mutual Defense Pacts That Made A World War Inevitable

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Also, bad conversationalists.

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Constantly Referencing How Comfortable Uma Thurman’s Womb Is

Constantly Referencing How Comfortable Uma Thurman’s Womb Is

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Cool, Maya, cool.

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Their Sex Tapes Have More Views Than Yours

Their Sex Tapes Have More Views Than Yours

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This instant popularity is unfair to all the regular people who have spent years trying to get their amateur porn noticed.

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Their Stupid, Beautiful, Angelic, Perfect Faces

Their Stupid, Beautiful, Angelic, Perfect Faces

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God, with a gorgeous, flawless face like that, how can you not want to kis—I mean, kick them.

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They Throw Many Feasts With The Finest Pheasants, Lamb, Suckling Pig, Potatoes, Chestnuts, Gravy, Cherries, And Tarts In All The Land

They Throw Many Feasts With The Finest Pheasants, Lamb, Suckling Pig, Potatoes, Chestnuts, Gravy, Cherries, And Tarts In All The Land

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The king won’t even look us peasants in the eye when he throws the leftover slop the pigs didn’t want into our dungeon cells.

Healthy Gums

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Gum health is important for all, but only those with existing connections have the opportunity to end bleeding from routine brushing.

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All Of Their Character Arcs In ‘Girls’ Felt Forced

All Of Their Character Arcs In ‘Girls’ Felt Forced

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If you’re going to have them on the show, at least make it seem organic.

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You’ve Made It This Far…

You’ve Made It This Far…



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