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New York: Wednesday, September 27, 2023
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Image for article titled San Francisco Begins Initiative To Provide Affordable Housing To Electric Scooters

SATIRE NEWS: San Francisco Begins Initiative To Provide Affordable Housing To Electric Scooters

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SAN FRANCISCO—Announcing more than $30 million in funding toward the project, San Francisco mayor London Breed reportedly rolled out a new initiative Friday to provide affordable housing to electric scooters. “It’s far past time we got these electric scooters off our streets and into homes where they can enjoy access to air conditioning, heat, and a roof above their heads,” said Breed, who was praised by community activists who had pressed for years for the Bird, Lime, and Spin rental scooters frequently seen sprawling across city’s sidewalks be moved to a safer, more permanent location. “Having so many of these electric scooters laying on the ground night after night is not just a safety hazard; it’s a moral failing on the part of this entire city. We must stop treating these e-scooters as eye sores, and start treating them as the community members we know they are.” At press time, San Francisco Police Department officers were reportedly beating and forcibly removing homeless individuals outside the affordable housing units.

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