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CHICAGO—Saying the woman had watched a large group of passengers board and appeared not to care when they were forced to stand, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that a rude train passenger was taking up an extra seat with her husband even though he could easily fit on her lap. “Everyone knows that on a crowded train, the polite thing to do is put your husband on your lap so you aren’t using two spots,” said visibly annoyed bystander Margaret Wiggins, 42, who glared at the husband flopped down onto the seat in the hopes that the woman would realize she was being inconsiderate and just pick him up already. “I’ve been on my feet all day and have a long trip ahead of me. You’d think she would take the hint and move him to the floor between her legs or something. People are so selfish. I get that it’s probably hard to lug that thing around all day, but that’s just part of city living.” At press time, Wiggins was reportedly fantasizing about stealing the woman’s husband to teach her a lesson.
