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SATIRE NEWS: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

SATIRE NEWS: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

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POINT: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

Mike Pence

On Jan. 6, 2020, President Trump attempted to change the course of U.S. history forever. Rather than accept a loss, he asked me, Vice President Mike Pence, to step in and overturn the election in his favor.

That day, President Trump went too far. Even as a proud member of the Trump administration, I could not fundamentally overturn the will of the American people.

In no uncertain terms, President Trump asked me to betray my duty as vice president of the United States of America. Rather than certify the election, he asked me to support lies over truth, and go against every principle we as leaders are sworn to uphold.

I was faced with the most difficult decision of my political career. Do I follow orders and support the president of the United States? Or do I stand firm, do my duty, and do what the Lord tells me is right?

As the American people are well aware, I chose the path of duty. Despite the riots, despite the insults, and despite the threats to hang me outside the Capitol, I refused to undermine the office that we are sworn to uphold, so help me God.

Now, let’s look forward to more important things, like the 2024 election. May we pray it is a victorious one.

COUNTERPOINT: Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

MIKE PENCE

Ah, Mike Pence. Sweet, sweet, former Vice President Mike Pence. Where to even begin? While I’m a fan of his, and have been for many years, you of all people saying that Donald Trump went too far on Jan. 6 is pretty fucking rich.

Come on. Deep down, Mike Pence is a snake. He lied. He sided with Biden. He sold out Donald Trump! How can we ever trust Mike Pence or anything that sad Christian robot says, ever again?

Mike Pence had one job on Jan. 6. One damn job! And what does he do? He shits the bed. If this guy thinks people are going to view him as some kind of hero that saved democracy or something, he’s in for a big fat fucking surprise.

Was he brainwashed by Antifa? Had he been paid off by the violent left? Maybe it was a weird religious thing. Boo hoo. Boo hoo. I’m Mike Pence! I need Mother! Help me! Help me! I’m a little baby bitch!

All I know is that people wanted blood on Jan. 6, and they sure as hell still want it. Who is with me?

Hang Mike Pence! Hang Mike Pence! Hang Mike Pence!

The truth is, Mike Pence may seem noble, but deep down, he’s just in politics for the game. I’m not sure what game he’s playing though, because it’s not like that pathetic little pasty fuck is ever actually going to be president. Not in a million years.

Mike Pence, your pathetic little political career is over. And I know because I will personally do everything in my power to make sure you never hold public office again.

Good luck with your campaign in 2024 though. God knows you’re going to need it, loser!



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