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SATIRE NEWS: Perhaps Old Mrs. Howard Saw Something

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NEW YORK—Surveying an alley in an attempt to piece together what had gone on here last night, investigators reportedly looked up at the window of an apartment building this morning and speculated that perhaps old Mrs. Howard had seen something. According to neighborhood sources, the 83-year-old shut-in, who has lived in the building overlooking the crime scene for decades, often spends her days at the window watching the action on the street below. Reports stated that if anyone was going to have information about anything peculiar going on, it would definitely be the widow Howard, and that—although she rarely speaks to anyone—very little happened around here without her being aware of it. After a count of the windows, it was determined that she must live in Apartment 12D, two doors down from the stairwell. At press time, sources confirmed Mrs. Howard had slowly cracked the door open with the chain still locked, one wrinkly old eye peering out as she demanded to see the officers’ badges.



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