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Satire News: New Antigravity Hover Shoes Protect Dogs’ Paws From

SATIRE NEWS: New Antigravity Hover Shoes Protect Dogs’ Paws From Anything Within 6 Inches Of Ground

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NEW YORK—Catering to consumers whose dogs have an aversion to outdoor surfaces, pet accessory brand Wild One unveiled new antigravity hover shoes Friday designed to protect canine paws from hazards by allowing the wearer to float up to six inches off the ground. “We’re thrilled to introduce these stylish and practical booties to help your pup avoid sizzling pavement, broken glass, frostbite, and any other dangers you may encounter on a walk,” said CEO Bill Wells, telling reporters that the shoes were made using anti-skid gyroscopes to prevent dogs from slipping and sliding as they trot along a few inches above the sidewalk. “Select from a range of sizes and colors, adjust the levitation dial to your desired height, and never worry again about those precious paws touching the earth. By the way, cleanup is easy: Just make sure to wipe down the electromagnetic grid with a wet cloth after each use.” At press time, Wild One announced it was pausing its rollout of the antigravity hover shoes after a customer in Miami miscalibrated a bootie and launched her bichon frise into orbit.



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