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SATIRE NEWS: Most Misguided Corporate Pride Campaigns

SATIRE NEWS: Most Misguided Corporate Pride Campaigns

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Brands, take note: Everyone can tell when you’re being supportive vs. when you’re being cringe. In honor of Pride Month, here are the most misguided corporate pride campaigns of all time.

“Together In Pride” (GLAAD)

“Together In Pride” (GLAAD)

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Unfortunately, their social media posts just reek of performative allyship.

“First Closeted Disney Princess” (Disney)

“First Closeted Disney Princess” (Disney)

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The entertainment juggernaut drew backlash for using its biennial D23 Expo to announce its upcoming slate of closeted characters.

“Think Gay Thoughts” (Ford)

“Think Gay Thoughts” (Ford)

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No one understood why, but for the entire month of June, Ford pledged to tell factory workers to think gay thoughts as they assembled cars.

“Stonewall Vanilla Crunch” (Ben and Jerry’s)

“Stonewall Vanilla Crunch” (Ben and Jerry’s)

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In retrospect, this rainbow-swirled vanilla filled with chunks of brick and broken glass was very cringe.

“Get Bullied As A Gay Teen Simulator” (Oculus)

“Get Bullied As A Gay Teen Simulator” (Oculus)

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Gay teens didn’t really need to pay $60 to get mocked, punched, and thrown in a dumpster during Pride Month.

“Less Bad Than Usual” (CVS)

“Less Bad Than Usual” (CVS)

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As expected, nobody cared when CVS announced that in June they’d only donate a little bit of money to antigay legislation.

“Anyone Can Fly A Plane” (Delta)

“Anyone Can Fly A Plane” (Delta)

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Passengers were understandably terrified when Delta announced that anyone who identified as part of the LGBTQIA+ community could fly its planes in June.

“Some Of Our 7-Year-Old Factory Workers Will Grow Up To Be Gay” (Apple)

“Some Of Our 7-Year-Old Factory Workers Will Grow Up To Be Gay” (Apple)

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While the pride shout-out was nice, it probably would have been better to just ignore the whole child labor thing in the first place.

“June Is Straight Girls Who Make Out With Each Other At Parties Month” (Arby’s)

“June Is Straight Girls Who Make Out With Each Other At Parties Month” (Arby’s)

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Pretty much says it all.

“Chester Cheetah Is Gay This Month” (Cheetos)

“Chester Cheetah Is Gay This Month” (Cheetos)

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On June 1, the snack brand’s mascot stepped out of the closet with his husband Brett, only to immediately revert to his previous identity on July 1.

“Car Lube Is For Gay Sex” (AutoZone)

“Car Lube Is For Gay Sex” (AutoZone)

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It probably would have been better to not even acknowledge Pride Month than to falsely claim car lube is for gay sex.

“Our Beef Is Gay” (McDonald’s)

“Our Beef Is Gay” (McDonald’s)

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In an oddly aggressive Pride campaign, McDonald’s vowed to only serve gay cows during the month of June.

“It’s For The Best, Son” (Chick-fil-A)

“It’s For The Best, Son” (Chick-fil-A)

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For the entire month of June, $1 of every chicken sandwich purchase went to imprisoning gay youth in conversion therapy.

“You Can’t Work Here” (Hobby Lobby)

“You Can’t Work Here” (Hobby Lobby)

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Any employee who identified as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community was given the chance to renounce their sinful lifestyle to avoid being fired.

N/A (Enron)

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Frankly, their silence is deafening.

“Three Random Rainbow Objects” (Staples)

“Three Random Rainbow Objects” (Staples)

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Every Staples store did the bare minimum and included just one rainbow TI-83 calculator, stapler, and pencil.

“Acceptance Armaments” (Lockheed Martin)

“Acceptance Armaments” (Lockheed Martin)

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In their defense, the rainbow bombs that came out of this pride line did make losing a family member just a little better.

“Slur Pride” (Twitter)

“Slur Pride” (Twitter)

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For the month of June, every tweet that had the f-slur included a cute little pride flag



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