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SATIRE NEWS: Man Steps Out Of Comfort Zone By Flashing Penis In Crowded Restaurant

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CINCINNATI—Admitting that he had an avoidant personality that often left him closed off to new possibilities, local man Stanley Fox reportedly stepped out of his comfort zone Friday by flashing his penis to diners at popular restaurant Harmon’s Dinette. “Certainly, I’m not the kind of guy who’d usually feel comfortable unzipping his pants and unveiling his penis in front of strangers, but sometimes it’s important to push yourself into something new,” said Fox, who noted that speaking with a therapist had helped him understand the way social anxiety could prevent him from experiencing the satisfaction and growth that could be derived from pointing to one’s partially erect member and then asking disgusted nearby patrons, “You like what you see?” “This is like when I tried sushi for the first time. I kept telling myself I’d never eat raw fish, but now that I have, I actually eat it all the time. Now, I’ll admit this is scarier than staying under my safety blanket of pants and underwear, but it’s also more exciting.” At press time, Fox confirmed that his worst fears had gone unrealized after the customers who had not fled or called the police went on to applaud his bravery for showing off his genitals.

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