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New York: Thursday, February 22, 2024
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SATIRE NEWS: Line Starts Back There, Confirm Frowning Café Sources

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BLOOMINGTON, IN—With their audible scoffs ringing out through the establishment, frowning sources at Inkwell Bakery and Café confirmed that the line actually starts back there. “Just so you know, this isn’t where the line begins,” said a patron waiting in the queue, one of many who made stern eye contact and raised a finger to indicate that the place to stand was behind nearly 15 other people, all the way over by the women’s restroom. “The rest of us were here first, and we’ve actually been waiting quite a while. Oh, were you just up front so you could get a better look at the menu board? Is that what happened? Because that’s not what I thought you were doing when you stepped directly in front of me like that. My apologies.” The café sources then went on to roll their eyes, look knowingly at each other, and shake their heads at the complete idiocy of the person who had walked in the door and not found their way to the back of the line within three seconds.



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