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SATIRE NEWS: Heroic Passenger Provides Emergency Beverage Service After Flight

SATIRE NEWS: Heroic Passenger Provides Emergency Beverage Service After Flight Attendant Falls Ill

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BOCA RATON, FL—In a feat stunned observers called “miraculous” and “inspiring,” courageous passenger Erica Spencer, 36, reportedly provided emergency beverage service Thursday after the sole flight attendant fell ill on an American Airlines flight from Miami to Boston. “You could tell she was really scared—her hands were shaking, and she kept repeating ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ as she opened each soda can, but she kept on going anyway,” said fellow passenger Deanna Lunsford, who confirmed that despite Spencer’s complete lack of formal training, she had managed to serve a complimentary beverage to every person on board. “She saw the flight attendant collapse and knew someone had to step up. We were all holding our breath when that guy in first class ordered a Bloody Mary, but she kept it together and at the last second managed to get some vodka, V8, and ice into a cup on his tray table. She even managed to calmly collect all the trash to ensure none of it ended up in the seat pocket.” Reached for comment, Spencer credited a flight attendant at air traffic control with talking her through the hardest parts, like substituting pretzels for almonds when a passenger mentioned his nut allergy.

 



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