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SATIRE NEWS: Boston Celtics Up For Sale

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Boston Basketball Partners LLC, the group that controls the majority of the shares in the Boston Celtics, announced the decision to sell all of its stake in the team, which is valued at $4.7 billion, by 2028. What do you think?

“But Boston Basketball Partners LLC has been synonymous with the Celtics for generations!”

Kynan Barrett, Joist Inspector

“I just hope the new owners don’t move the team somewhere terrible, like Boston.”

Emma Mole, Candy Coater

“I would put in an offer if my money wasn’t tied up in food and shelter.”

Kevin Gebhardt, systems analyst



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