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Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.
“I didn’t know I would have to like… do stuff,” he complained to his staff. “I figured being mayor was more like an honorary title, like getting the key to the city.” READ MORE
“Yea or nay, it doesn’t really matter,” said Senator Elizabeth Warren. “I’m still going to complain about the weather and randomly shout ‘RACISM!’ instead of listening to my constituents.” READ MORE
“Just be in debt forever, that’ll make it easy,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. “It’s a beautiful thing. That’s a long, long mortgage, folks. I know a thing or two about real estate, and being given eternity to pay off a loan is really something.” READ MORE
“Honored to be your next Attorney General and death to anyone who opposes me!” the text message read. READ MORE