POLITICS: NYC has plenty of things to be thankful for this year — our new mayor isn’t one of them

NYC’s list of turkeys grows

It’s nearly Thanksgiving, so: Be aware the prices are up, the lifestyle’s down.

The hookers are up, the quality’s down. Hospitals are up, the care is down. Costs are up, the shoppers down.

The President’s up, the patriotism’s down. Schools are up, the teaching’s down.

The traffic’s up, the highways are down. The coffee’s up, the Starbucks are down.

The rents are up, the savings are down. The holiday is up, the joy is down.

The winter is up, the temperature’s down. The mayor’s up, but his future is down.

The necklines are low, and so are the asses. The trash is out, and so are the rats.

Broadway’s up, but the quality’s down. Newscasts are up, but viewership’s down.

Travel is up, but the airplanes are down. The subways work, but the safety doesn’t.

The sales are up but the merchandise is down. The city’s down, but the scaffolding’s up.

The movies are out, but so’s the talent. The politicians are up, but their values are down.

Pot is in, but soon comes casinos. The Democrats are up — but let’s not mention them.

Gone to the dogs

The dogs are up — but so’s their poop. Ozempic’s up, as are today’s behinds.

Thefts are up but the NYPD is down. The satellites are up, the country’s down.

The Saudis are up. The Jews are down. Foreign language is up, English is down.

Cocktail parties are in, but the UN is out. Newscasts are up but the information’s down.

Never forget that Lincoln lived in a log cabin. No lights, no heat, no running water, no working john. Honest Abe probably had a New York City landlord.

And remember this — Thanksgiving is not when it’s turkey for turkeys. With humans that’s April 15.

So, consider my question: Why’d it have to be turkeys? Why not lamb chops?

Not as easy as pie

One more additional piece of news. What President Donald Trump will do Thanksgiving. He’ll pray because he has several problems — the budget and his mayoral guest. Both might be unbalanced. The holiday began in 1621 in Plymouth, Mass., and lasted three days. Can you imagine sitting with your brother-in-law eating Brussels sprouts for three days?

Second thing: When John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence, it was the first insurance policy he wrote that guaranteed all men are created equal. Who knows if he intends to pay off on James Comey.

Hey, it’s America’s holiday. Thanksgiving. It’s love. It’s appreciation. It’s the United States of America.

Be glad, give thanks, think gratitude.