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A telling of city dwelling
New York. One big gridlock. World’s greatest city. Place where you’d love to park — but can’t.
Traffic signs say: No stopping, no standing, no parking, no kidding.
Anybody in NY who speaks good English must be a foreigner. Anybody who doesn’t speak English at all is a cab driver.
America is lighting a candle for its 250th birthday soon. I’m lighting one for its beginning.
Back then men wore bloomers — as did women. Men wore stylized hairpieces, which you can see today on TV. All such habits when our land was originally inhabited thousands of years ago, I’m not sure. l didn’t show up until weeks later.
First broker sale
1623 came the Dutch. Fur traders who obviously didn’t use up their complete stock because today, if you follow such behinds as Kardashian and Cardi B you’ll find mink, sable and ermine back on those backs.
The Dutch bought this chunk of land. Cheapos, they realized we were only a little strip. You could walk across us east to west in a half hour (minus the scaffolding), so they only sprung for the price of today’s cup of coffee with a luncheonette bagel thrown in. Want the bagel toasted with jelly added, you then become part owner of the luncheonette.
We got named Mannahatta, meaning hilly island, by the Lenape. Got our first park, Bowling Green, in 1733. G. Washington, who left nagging Martha home alone, was sworn in near there as our first president — the area now knows bicycles, and guys delivering room-temperature pasta. George eventually got his own statue someplace.
And we are blessed with the US’s highest-tax city as Crapdammy, who now just moved from his previously cramped apartment in a non-A1 building, who plans to raise taxes in it and send the homeless to a freezing death.
We borough here
Let’s not forget Brooklyn. Originally named for the Dutch town Breukelen. Founded in this new territory after the 1664 British takeover, it eventually had to replace its crowded apartment houses. Land was expensive, foundations were crumbling, many arrivals, and — who knows — possibly it started back when the actual redo of the Waldorf began? My advance information is that the handover/takeover could be completed by the time Bernie Sanders stops spitting.
Anyone remember 1964’s World’s Fair? The theme? “Peace Through Understanding.” OK?
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Anyone remember NYC’s Custom House? Nice spot downtown. Forget aging crumbling landmarks, how about the J.P. Morgan residence on the southeast corner of 37th and Madison? Built new in 1852, it’s both a library and, like me, well-preserved and landmarked.
Not only buildings but lives have changed. I knew a rich, well connected married socialite — large East Side apartment. Problem? The teenage son. Stealing. Her jewelry. Eventually placed in a semi-restricted operation. He’s now over it — now OK.
Whatever is happening to the world’s No. 1 city — it is not just weather conditions.
SO New York City? This visitor was stopped by a mugger in a downtown alley. The visitor, who had no money on him, feared the mugger might hurt him. So he said: “Could I write you a check?” The mugger said: “OK, but I’ll need to see two forms of ID.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.