POLITICS: Looking Ahead to “Spy Wednesday” with M.C. Holbrook – USSA News

Though we haven’t yet reached Ash Wednesday in this Jubilee Year of Hope, it isn’t too soon to plan our personal Lenten observances. One tried-and-true way to enter the season is by spending time with the daily Mass readings as they lead us from Jesus’ preaching years all the way to Calvary. The M.C. Holbrook Safe Haven series of reflections on the daily Mass readings is an excellent way to do just that, and, yes, there is a volume for Lent. With Holbrook’s permission I share a particularly poignant reflection that is at once personal and universal: the Wednesday of Holy Week. On this “Spy Wednesday” we enter the intimacy of the Last Supper as Jesus speaks to his followers of betrayal.

Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” [Matthew 26:25]

What do we suppose is going through Judas’ mind at this moment? Here, Jesus has made a clear, prophetic announcement that one of the disciples would betray him, and Judas acts just as shocked as all the other disciples. Does he think he could “fool” Jesus by pretending it would not be him? … Scripture does not reveal to us what is going through Judas’ mind. But there is (another) option that could explain what makes him act just as shocked as the other disciples in hearing that one of them would betray Jesus. It is entirely possible that Judas really does not know that he would be the one.

What? Judas did not know that he was betraying Jesus? How could that be? If it is possible that the person whose picture is practically in the dictionary next to the word “betrayer” did not know he was betraying Jesus, then I might be capable of betrayal myself!

And so, having shifted our minds out of their usual comprehension of this central gospel passage, Holbrook shifts again, to a personal story from her own childhood:

My mother was one of six siblings — all of whom married and had kids of their own — so I grew up with lots of extended family. One of my fondest childhood memories was going to my grandmother’s house for family gatherings, surrounded by all my cousins. Of course, there were a few gatherings that were not so delightful to remember; specifically, the times I felt picked on by the other kids, as is the way with normal childhood rivalries. One day I was in conversation with one of my cousins, reminiscing about old times. When I warmly shared with her that my favorite memories were of all of us gathered at Grandma’s, she looked at me, cocked her head to the side, and flatly announced, “Those weren’t my favorite memories. You were always such a bully.” My cousin was not angry; actually, she was laughing about it now … but one can imagine my shock. Me?? The bully? I was the victim! Days later, her comment stayed with me because I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Then I remembered … the times I was relieved when she was being murmured about and I was not … the times I said nothing in her defense … and, I imagined, the times that I quite possibly joined in the conspiring against her, times erased long ago from my memory, but seared painfully in hers. I called her to apologize for any pain I had caused her … and she lovingly forgave me, saying it was a long time ago. I never even knew.

The humility it takes to share a story that does not put the author in the best light is another of Holbrook’s gifts. In this way she helps us to admit the times when we weren’t at our best, when we failed to live charitably, in other words, when we sinned. This companionship in honest regret leads the reader back to Jesus and his ever-ready mercy. In our repentance we will receive the peace and wholeness that comes from admitting our faults, asking forgiveness and accepting that we are fully human.

In entering so personally into these gospel passages we place ourselves in the ongoing story of salvation. We can see that we need a Savior, just like Judas did. Sadly, we know that Judas rejected the Father’s surprising Messianic plan that did not line up with his own vision. In turn he not only rejected Jesus but betrayed him.

This is where Holbrook leads us next, as she lays out just how Judas may have been blinded to the betrayal he committed.

Such, perhaps, was the disposition of Judas in the midst of this shocking revelation from Jesus. Perhaps he truly did not see himself as a “betrayer.” Perhaps he only viewed things from his own perspective — that of “victim” — whose Messiah was not carrying out the plan he had promised, at least not in the way or in the timetable Judas had expected. Bafflingly, it is possible that Judas might even have thought he was doing Jesus a favor — helping push his mission along. In fact, he was. Just not in the way Judas intended. If only Judas could have found it in his heart to acknowledge his betrayal to the Lord and say, “I’m sorry.” It is true, “sorry” would not have “cut it.” But Jesus would have forgiven him anyway.

The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born. [Matthew 26:24]

“Spy Wednesday” is already one of the most challenging days of the liturgical year. This deeper look into our “kinship” with Judas does not make it any easier. It does make it more fruitful though, fruitful to true self-awareness, fuller repentance and ultimately a freer, more honest relationship with our Lord. Through a deeper “Spy Wednesday” in particular, and Lent in general, we have broader capacity to enter the joy of the Resurrection and new life at Easter.

What are you planning to do to get the most out of Lent this year? There are so many options. One that accomplishes the most important “reason” for observing Lenten practices, that is, drawing the soul nearer to Jesus, is this practice of praying with and reflecting on the daily Mass readings. The Church has given us this great gift of the order of liturgical readings for just this purpose. With the aid of a friend like M.C. Holbrook, we can make the most out of our observances and draw closer to Jesus each Lenten day.

 

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