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Vice President Kamala Harris finally sat down this week for multiple media interviews on consecutive days, a first for her presidential campaign.
Yet most of them weren’t interviews at all, but the journalistic version of a hot-stone massage.
The veep’s first major stop was at “60 Minutes.”
Refreshingly, and for the first time since she replaced Joe Biden atop the Democratic ticket, she was actually challenged with some uncomfortable questions and (gasp) even follow-ups.
Yet CBS correspondent Bill Whitaker seemed flummoxed by her non-answers and word salads on major topics like economic policy and illegal immigration, while Harris looked patently uncomfortable.
Only later did we learn CBS had extensively edited the chat to make Harris sound somewhat coherent.
Hours after that train wreck aired, Harris went over to ABC.
And for the first time ever, a Democrat somehow screwed up a T-ball interview on “The View,” a seemingly impossible feat.
Her biggest whiff: Asked if she would have decided anything differently than Joe Biden did their past four years in office, she answered with a line that will surely become a Trump campaign ad: “There is not a thing that comes to mind.”
Nope.
Harris wouldn’t alter a thing about inflation, spending, crime, the border or foreign policy.
Just 28% of Americans believe the country is on the right track, and the VP essentially says she’s good with the choices that put it there.
No regrets.
Thirty minutes later, perhaps sensing she needed a do-over, Harris shared that one difference between Biden and herself is that she’s “going to have a Republican in my Cabinet.”
Considering ultra-hawk Liz Cheney is currently campaigning with her, say hello to your next Secretary of Defense!
Then Harris sat down with Howard Stern.
Listeners of a certain age might have expected something interesting out of this one, because the no-holds-barred “shock jock” of old would have quizzed Kamala about her husband Doug Emhoff and the racy allegations that he cheated on his first wife, impregnated the couple’s nanny and sexually harassed women at his law firm.
But this is not 1980s or 1990s Howard anymore.
Instead, he’s morphed into an insufferably woke Democratic activist who on Tuesday slammed “Saturday Night Live” for committing gentle mockery.
“I don’t want you being made fun of,” he said earnestly.
“There’s too much at stake. I believe the entire future of this country right now . . . is literally on the line.”
Yep.
The guy who has made a 50-year career out of scatological ridicule wants Kamala to get a pass.
No news was made in this “interview,” because you knew where it was going based on the first question: “Do you nap at all?”
As a followup, Stern asked Kamala if she liked the 1989 “Batman” soundtrack featuring Prince.
No, really.
Finally, Harris returned to CBS and the friendliest of venues: “Late Night with Stephen Colbert.”
The man who performed a tribute to the COVID vaccine and hosted a $500-a-ticket Joe Biden fundraiser centered his questions mostly on Donald Trump’s personal flaws and the threat he poses to the country and democracy itself.
Colbert also gave Harris yet another swing at the key question of the day.
“What makes you different than the current administration?” he asked.
“I’m obviously not Joe Biden,” she replied.
“I’m not Donald Trump, either.”
Glad we have that established.
But her answer is at odds with what Biden himself said just last week, when he reiterated that this vice-president has been involved in every major decision he’s made — and stressed the two are “singing from the same song sheet.”
Which is it, Madam Vice President?
The net-net of this alleged media blitz is negligible for the Harris campaign — or worse.
She doesn’t gain one vote from Tuesday’s whirlwind tour, because those who listen to Stern or watch Colbert and “The View” are already in her corner.
And she likely repelled more than a few voters on “60 Minutes,” which for her aides back in campaign HQ must have been like watching the bloody first 13 minutes of “Saving Private Ryan.”
There’s about four weeks to go until Election Day.
Many Americans still don’t know who Kamala Harris is or what she stands for — which is why she set out on this misbegotten mission in the first place.
We know who Donald Trump is.
But Harris is the etch-a-sketch candidate who says so very much without telling us anything at all.