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Scene’s all about Dem
Lest you have wondered where everyone is: Remember the name Andrew Yang? He once ran — or at least walked quickly — for mayor of New York City. And where New York City is these days? Who knows. Yang was in Silver Towers on the West Side.
Whilst our current mayor Hizzoner Adams partook as usual at his fancy club Zero Bond. He recently inhaled boiled chicken and sweet potato fries. Dropped none of it on his — for reasons unknown — fourth suit of the day.
LeBron James who for his own reasons is blowing a forklift of C-notes to glam up a who cares 1967 Cadillac. He plans to show it off soon. Why? No idea. I also had a 1967 Cadillac. Two dents later I got rid of it.
From skit to snit
Jerry Seinfeld’s kid recently pranked daddy but it didn’t go over well.
The daughter Sascha is a budding hopeful. A someday-to-be columnist, someone like . . . perish the thought me. She used an app to FaceTime Dad. To make it seem she was kidnapped and possibly ransom was involved. Jerry freaked but it was a joke. Some sort of brilliantly fabulous for some reason gag.
Realizing it was maybe the first joke he did not find very funny, he ordered her to appear. In the flesh. She appeared. At a certain place. On the Upper West Side.
Listen, could be an episode for some future “Kid of Seinfeld” episode.
He’ll be back
Comes now another episode. The venue? NYC Mandarin Hotel. At Columbus Circle. At an elevator. There flexing the remainder of his muscles hulked Arnold Schwarzenegger. And there also stood two women. And there was this avid deeeep conversation. And there stood our star. Our former ex excellency the honorable former head of state chatting animatedly with them.
And they had no effing idea who he was. None. I think they figured he was a muscular Brad Pitt.
Admin works
Results. First month in. While Biden frequents his toilet, illegal migrant crossings down 93%. Canada and Mexico beefed up border security. Hostages freed in Gaza, Venezuela, Russia. Blatant corruption exposed by husky Musky.
Shore tunes
Wait. More revelations. 10 top music acts to headline summer in the Hamptons. At Canoe Place. On Montauk Highway.
Matthew Kristan, its GM: “Last summer’s sold-out Jeff Goldblum showed a premium entertainment demand.” Starts June 8. With the Gipsy Kings, Trevor Hall, Rufus Wainwright. Historic landmark, after an extensive restoration, it’s now a premier destination for live entertainment.
Lucille Ball once played there. But not lately.
Tiff’s big fashion set
Wait. More. Funny lady Tiffany Haddish, with newish book “I Curse You With Joy,” is coming here for Fashion Group International’s Rising Star Awards luncheon. They design shmattas. She emcees. April 16 on Park Avenue. Fashion bigs Fern Mallis and Reem Acra are presenters. Everyone dresses up for this, then schleps home and puts on yoga pants.
NYC’S having such a lousy p.r. slide that even government buildings are bracing for attacks. The Statue of Liberty just got fitted for a bulletproof bra.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.