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Quick dine ’n’ dash set
Saturday. Mandarin Oriental’s dinner party. Australian businessman Anthony Pratt’s private sit-down for several hundred. Hired entertainer was Keith Urban. Pratt doesn’t do small-time beer-and-burger cheese stand-ups.
As reported Monday, because I was there, onto the stage came opening comedian Wali Collins. Jokes like: “I come from a mixed family. My father’s black, my mother’s left-handed.”
Out from hidden stage right springs unannounced unexpected un-cheap Chris Rock, who costs more than the sirloin.
Three jokes. Five minutes. His vantage point could see this ballroom’s rear exit.
The guess is he saw — probably — a camera taping him, phone recording him, a something taking down whatever he was burbling. Who knows.
Jumping off the stage, he charged through the seated tables like Hunter Biden at his drug dealer — all the while bitching loudly — and disappeared. For good. Not to be seen again. In the very beginning of his earning.
Now, today, still no apology, no explanation. But yesterday comes an email to me from Wali’s agent states that his mother’s lefthandedness line is his. Not Rock’s. Yes, I know that. Fine. Great. And a blessing on all your heads, mazel tov, mazel tov.
I don’t care if that one-liner came from Syria’s Assad. Egocentric Rock was mean, awful, small time. How dare he?
He owes an apology — and money back — to Pratt. I never even finished my steak.
How tweet it is
I think I’ll change my email. Here’s another message I just got.
“Big bird spot in Canada is Pelee Island.” For Margaret Atwood’s Lotos Club book party about birding coming Tuesday to the Upper East Side, the writer’s invited me and she says “Space is limited.”
Not to worry. I can’t make it. Mother and feather can share my chair.
Party time?
Another bulletin: Gov. Hochul’s holiday party — or Mayor Adams’ Hanukkah hoedown. Need to choose. Forget Republican or Democrat — but which holiday party. Both are the 17th: 4 to 6 p.m. in Albany or 5 to 7 p.m. at Gracie Mansion.
Now some viewing treasure
More kvetches about movies: “Nickel Boys.” About civil rights, Jim Crow south, Martin Luther King. Star Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor: “It’s no outside eye looking into black folks in the South. It’s from our point of view.” It’s also brutal.
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More. “Star Wars.” A black hole that keeps emptying. Comes now “Star Wars: Skeleton Crew,” TV series on Disney+. Jude Law plays something called Jod Na Nawood. He says: “When I was 7, I saw my first ‘Star Wars.’ It had impact on me. It was my formative memory.” Whaaaa? “It informed the next eight years of my life.” Whaaa??? “Now my character sees kids as small adults.” Whaaaa?
Dis & dismiss
Ex-Marine Daniel Penny: May the force be with you. We women thank you. Bless you.
Are grateful to you. The problem was never you. Our long back Chief Judge Sol Wachtler once said “You can indict a ham sandwich.” The problem was always DA Bragg. The DA standing for Dumb Ass.
Want to know how savvy is our DA? Bet he thinks Shirley Temple Black is an African American synagogue.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.