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Famously ordinary celebrities
Be aware. If itβs happened to you, itβs happened to them:
Jude LawΒ auditioning at 13 was mistaken for a girl βbecause of my pretty looks.β He says: βIn the play βIndiscretionsβ I had to go onstage naked. My characterβs getting out of his bath β and opening night the crew had poured in ice water.β
Halle Berry: βIβve dreamt that while talking my teeth flew out of my mouth and I have to run around trying to catch them.β
Nic Cage: βMy repetitive nightmare is a large-size laughing woman in a gold bikini reaching through the window and snatching me off the toilet.β
Kevin Bacon: βItβs a lifetime of food jokes. βSizzling Baconβ or βout of the frying panβ or βbringing home the Bacon.β Filming βThe River Wildβ withΒ Meryl StreepΒ in Montana the coffee shop menu special was βhamburger with two strips of Bacon.βββ
Courtney LoveΒ told this to the San Francisco Examiner: βOctober 2002, after removing my breast implants, I kept them as souvenirs and took them home. My dog ended up choking on one of my implants.β
Dick Van DykeΒ approached a girl who said, βYour fly is undone.β He says: βMy nose then blew all over my shirt. We eventually married on a radio show which paid for the rings, household appliances and honeymoon. We were so poor we lived inside our car.β
Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious could not figure how to get his hair to stay straight. His methods included lying upside down with his head in the oven. Never occurred to him to use hair spray.
Blender magazine:Β Willie NelsonΒ drowned early difficulties in alcohol. βIn Nashville I got so drunk that I laid down in the snow and waited for a car to come along. After some time I got discouraged, eventually got up and bought another round of drinks.β
Richard Pryor was born in a brothel. His mother wasnβt surprised at the location because itβs where she worked. His father was the handyman. Grandma the house madam.
Ashton KutcherΒ won the Fresh Faces of Iowa contest, began modeling in New York, moved to LA, then datingΒ Demi Moore. Among his high school jobs? Skinning deer for a local butcher shop.
βRoofmanβ nails down its role
Wait. More winners in the movies. βRoofman.β About breaking into a McDonaldβs for apple pie and some cash. It had a Toronto Film Festival premiere.
Leading manΒ Channing Tatum: βTrue story about someone talented at lying. We shot in Charlotte, NC, near where the thing really happened.Β Peter DinklageΒ plays the bad guy.β
Dinklage: βI love what I do for a living. Like finding new stories. This oneβs fascinating.β
Letβs all try to calm yourselves until Oct. 10 when it officially opens.
A lawyer says hello to you it costs $800. Call girls are cheaper. Attorneys now charge if they dream about you. In the same elevator while heβs thinking about you itβs double time. One received a clientβs birthday gift. He didnβt like it. He sent her a bill with: βFor time spent β returning your tie.β
Mostly only in New York, kids, only in New York.