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Hey, Brooklyn Beckham, get your head on straight.
Don’t be like Prince Harry and cut off your family. And certainly don’t do it with a public tantrum, lobbing scathing personal attacks against them.
After all, when it comes to familial ties, Harry is a sad cautionary tale — not a triumphant example of shedding the yoke of familial expectations.
“I do not want to reconcile with my family,” bratty Brooklyn, 26, wrote in an Instagram screed aimed at his famous parents, David and Victoria Beckham, Monday.
That, of course, would also suggest he is shunning his three younger siblings as well.
“I’m not being controlled, I’m standing up for myself for the first time in my life,” he wrote — referencing web chatter that his wife, Nicola Peltz, was orchestrating the ongoing estrangement. “For my entire life, my parents have controlled narratives in the press about our family.”
Stand up to your parents in the living room, not on Instagram or, as Harry did, in a grievance-filled memoir and Oprah interview.
Indeed, there are many parallels between these whiny dudes. They’re the sons of Britain’s most famous men. Both Harry and Brooklyn were brought up in the lap of luxury and privilege — only to emerge spoiled and rudderless in adulthood. Neither will be invited to join the local Mensa chapter.
Each linked up with a beautiful, emotionally intelligent American girl who, perhaps, gave reason to believe that anything wrong was not a personal failing — but the fault of the parents.
While Harry whinged that he was the “spare,” Brooklyn has complained that his mom backed out of designing his wife’s wedding gown at the “eleventh hour” and “danced very inappropriately on me in front of everyone” at his 2022 nuptials. He “never felt more … humiliated in my entire life.”
Which maybe shows you what an easy ride he’s had.
Before the phrase “nepo baby” became part of our collective vernacular, Brooklyn was the prototype. His pretty face and family name opened doors.
As a young teen, he started modeling and was, ridiculously, tapped to photograph a fragrance campaign for Burberry at 16. While he dropped out of art school at Parsons after just a year, he also published a book of photos of his far-flung travels — like a picture of an elephant in Kenya with the deep-thinker caption “So hard to photograph but incredible to see.”
Maybe he was a wunderkind and photography was his true calling? Nah.
On to the next dream! He became a “chef” with his online series, “Cookin’ with Brooklyn,” on which he famously made … a sandwich.
Now he sells his own line of hot sauce. At 26, he’s essentially an influencer with a wife whose father is a billionaire worth even more than the Beckhams.
But Brooklyn isn’t valiantly giving up his family fortune and birthright for the woman he loves. He’s just jumped to a higher tax bracket.
There’s a video of Brooklyn on Instagram showing off luxury timepieces, including a Rolex Pepsi and a Patek Philipe, gifted by his father.
It’s a reminder: One can have all the physical trappings of a sophisticated life yet be so completely lacking in the experiences and substance that make a strong adult.
I’ll admit, being raised in the shadow of two global superstars surely presents its own set of issues.
Brooklyn accused his parents of putting “Brand Beckham” before everything else in life, and I’m willing to bet David and Victoria aren’t blameless. They ascended alongside the formation of our modern celebrity culture and are well-practiced in shaping publicity narratives. They relentlessly court the cameras — and then pretend to be offended when the glare is too hot.
But Brooklyn is, ostensibly, a grown man, and he will soon learn that you only get one set of parents and that nothing can replace the sacred relationship between siblings.
Maybe posting his public declaration of independence was gratifying in the moment. Hurting the ones who hurt you can provide a temporary high.
But over time, the airing of dirty laundry won’t set you free. It will only feed those resentments.
And when, God forbid, someone is sick or near death, coming back together can feel like an insurmountable feat.
Just ask Prince Harry.