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Savannah Guthrie is looking back on the heartbreak of her first marriage.
The βTodayβ anchor, 53, appeared on the βReclaiming with Monica Lewinskyβ podcast Tuesday and explained why she kept theΒ βgory detailsβ of her divorce from her first husband, Mark Orchard, out of her book that came out last year.
βIt was horrible and sad and it broke my heart and it took me years to recover,β she said of the breakup.
βAnd Iβm not blaming anyone but I donβt really want to get into it, you know,β the journalist added.
Guthrie was married to the BBC journalist from 2005 to 2009. They met while covering the Michael Jackson trial.
βItβs the one thing I didnβt want to talk about,β Guthrie explained of excluding her divorce from her book, adding that while she wanted readers to know she βexperienced adversity,β she didnβt want to tell them βthe depths of that.β
βSome of it was just too personal and too embarrassing,β she admitted. βWhich I basically said.β
Guthrie also told Lewinsky, 51, that her publisher accepted her decision to leave the details of her divorce out of her book.
Later in the interview, the NBC journalist spoke about her current husband, political and communications consultant Michael Feldman, 56. The couple married in 2014 and share two children.
βWhen we wereΒ dating, and by the way we dated for five and a half years, wait for it because a lot of reasons, and we both had commitment issues for our own reasons,β Guthrie recalled.
βI met him very soon after getting separated and divorced so I was like, βHereβs whatβs never going to happen,’β she continued. βSo it took a long long time, but we talked about it because of our differing faiths and because my faith is so important to me.β
Guthrie added: βAll I know is that Iβm trying to have integrity in my faith with my children and in myΒ family,Β and Mike is there with me allowing me to do that.β
In February, Guthrie made rare comments about her first marriage while telling US Weekly how she felt about having kids later in life.
βWhen I was 36, I got divorced. I wasnβt married long,β she stated. βThat was a huge disappointment. I was pretty sure that I had lost my opportunity and more or less ruined my life.β
βAll I ever really wanted was to fall in love, be a mom and have a family,β Guthrie went on. βI donβt know if itβs acceptable to admit these days, but thatβs kind of how I was. I wanted to do something important and meaningful, but I really wanted a family.β
Guthrie was 42 when she gave birth to her first child, daughter Vale. Two years later, she and Feldman welcomed their second child, son Charley.